


Alice

by Rasalahuge



Series: Concepts Series [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: But mostly fluff, M/M, Mpreg, One sided relationship, Some angst, Unrequited Love, past child abuse of a major character, past homophobic bullying of a major character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-13
Updated: 2013-11-13
Packaged: 2018-01-01 10:14:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rasalahuge/pseuds/Rasalahuge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>M!Preg for the Concepts Series. Alice was his best friend. Alice had been there through everything, standing by his side and supporting him. Alice deserved to be called her mother, even if they weren’t related by blood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alice

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** There is some mention of homophobic abuse directed towards Jefferson, though not by any canon character. It is neither graphic nor the focus of the story however if this might be a trigger please read with caution.
> 
> Well and truly AU given the airing of 'Once Upon a Time in Wonderland' but I wrote it before it aired and didn't want to change it after

Alice was his best friend. Fiery and strong and just mad enough to think him no more than slightly curious she was the exact sort of woman he had always wished he’d fall in love with. Not that he wished to be anything other than what he was but sometimes he felt it would make his life easier. As it was Alice’s pretty features, generous curves and luscious hair didn’t turn his head or cause his heart to beat any faster. He loved her but the idea of laying with her felt wrong. She told him it was alright, that it didn’t matter that the sight of hard, strong, lean bodies sent a thrill through him. She told him that if he would rather imagine being pinned down under the weight of another man than hovering over a woman it was okay. That was why she was his best friend; she accepted him as he was.

His parents hadn’t accepted him, had called him freak, immoral, depraved and twisted. The others in his village struck him, beat him, sent for the clerics to try and cleanse him of these unnatural urges. Nothing had worked; it had just made him more defiant, more determined to just be himself. Eventually they had cleaned their hands of him and sent him away. He had wandered the world and, when the world wasn’t big enough, he found others to explore. It might have been running if he hadn’t been inordinately fond of telling people exactly who he was and where he was from. Even if they wanted to they couldn’t forget about him or pretend that they’d at least driven his unnaturalness out.

Still Jefferson knew it would have been easier if he could fall in love with Alice. As it was she delighted in telling him his taste in men was terrible. After meeting the Dark One he found he had to agree with her.

The Dark One who was lean but deceptively strong, who had bright dancing eyes and a sense of mischief that Jefferson was drawn to. The world hopper didn’t care that Rumpelstiltskin’s skin was scaled, or that his eyes were haunted or that he had a vicious temper and a tendency to get violent when he lost it. He had never been so drawn to another person in his life, had never wished so desperately for a touch, a smile, a kiss.

Alice was sympathetic but wary. She didn’t trust or like Rumpelstiltskin, didn’t like that Jefferson did jobs for him, didn’t like the way he fell and fell hard for someone most would call beast and worse. She cautioned him never to speak of it, never to let Rumpelstiltskin know. Not, she argued, because she didn’t want Jefferson to be happy, she did. But because she feared that if the Dark One took Jefferson’s attachment the wrong way he could be killed, or worse, end up as his play thing for the Dark One’s own amusement.

Jefferson, blinded by infatuation, didn’t believe her but Alice was his best friend so he agreed. For years he worked alongside Rumpelstiltskin and kept his feelings to himself. He kept silent until Regina.

Rumpelstiltskin spent so much time with her, teaching her the tricks of magic that he refused to teach Jefferson, he lavished attention on her and though Jefferson was almost certain that he wasn’t sleeping with her (she’d only just lost her True Love after all and then been shackled to a King she didn’t even like) he burned with jealousy. He watched through burning, heated eyes as the two of them danced around one another. The Dark One was breaking Regina, masterfully, beautifully and would leave her shattered on the floor and, so deep in his infatuation, Jefferson wished that he would turn such attention on him.

Alice warned him again about letting the Dark One know, but this time Jefferson failed to hear her.

Rumpelstiltskin noticed, it had only been a matter of time.

Alice was right to fear the Dark One’s reaction, right to fear that he would use Jefferson as a plaything. Strangely he wasn’t cruel, he didn’t hurt Jefferson any more than could be avoided and even afterwards he let Jefferson curl up against him, content as a cat. But he very clearly didn’t care for Jefferson the way Jefferson cared for him. Despite Jefferson’s efforts Rumpelstiltskin was still focused on Regina and on breaking her and while Jefferson was a welcome distraction when she went back to her palace for the evening he would broker no interruptions to his work.

In the end he did break Jefferson, because Jefferson fell more and more in love with the kind, if distant, Dark One he had gotten to know but those feelings weren’t returned. He made that inescapably clear when Jefferson tried to tell him. The world hopper went to Alice then and wept for the loss. Alice took him into her arms and then took him back, back to Wonderland where he was just the Mad Hatter.

Alice was the one to piece him back together.

Alice was the one to hold him as he vomited, somehow ill in a world that had no illness.

Alice was the one that assured him that he wasn’t putting on weight even as his stomach swelled.

Alice was the one that took him back through the hat, traveling the worlds until they found a healer that could deal with what was fast proving undeniable even if it was supposed to be impossible.

Alice was the one that found them the cottage in the enchanted forest where he could hide away from the world.

Alice was the one that saw him through the birth, neither of them willing to risk a midwife.

Alice was the one who beamed when he called the baby girl Grace, the name she’d liked best, rather than Paige, which he had actually preferred until he saw his daughter’s eyes.

Alice was the one that stood by him through it all and Alice was the one that agreed, with a smile as bright as the sun, to be introduced as Grace’s mother when the three of them re-entered the worlds.

When they returned Regina had passed the early stages of her apprenticeship, just broken enough for Rumpelstiltskin’s tastes, and he was bored enough to search out his favourite world hopper again. He didn’t seem to even realise how broken he’d left Jefferson, but that was okay because Jefferson had Alice who was Grace’s mother in everything but blood. Alice was his best friend who had been there through everything and no matter how much his heart beat faster when the Dark One approached Jefferson had learnt his lesson.

He didn’t tell Rumpelstiltskin about Grace and that was the second mistake he made in regards to the Dark One.

It was doing a job for him that Alice died. A job they all knew was too dangerous but that Rumpelstiltskin wouldn’t back down from and Jefferson couldn’t refuse and Alice didn’t dare mention the little girl, five years old and delightful, who was waiting in the cottage for them both to return.

In the end the three of them got caught in a trap. The Dark One was fine, because he was immortal; Alice dived in front of Jefferson and took the blows for both of them.

“You have to look after Grace, look after your daughter,” She made him promise.

“Our daughter,” Jefferson said and though Rumpelstiltskin stared at the two of them as though he was learning something new and strange that had tipped his world view he still missed how Jefferson’s words somehow encompassed all three of them. Alice smiled at him one last time and then she was gone.

Rumpelstiltskin didn’t seem surprised when Jefferson told him he was retiring; in fact he seemed strangely pleased with this. He agreed with Jefferson that Grace needed him, now that Alice was gone, and he even gave Jefferson enough gold thread to last him a good long while. If he rationed it carefully.

Then Jefferson was alone, or rather alone but for Grace. There was no more Alice, not more sane voice in his ear keeping him from doing the wrong thing.

Alice wouldn’t have been fooled by Regina. Twice.

Alice wouldn’t have been trapped by the Queen of Hearts.

Alice wouldn’t have abandoned Grace and gotten stuck under a curse for three decades, only able to watch her from afar.

Alice wouldn’t have gone mad from the weight of two sets of memories.

Alice wouldn’t have watched from afar as Cora came to town and hidden away like a coward.

Alice certainly wouldn’t have reacted to the news that the Dark One had a son, grandson and a True Love by breaking down into sobs and tears that frightened Grace more than his new found dangerous and dark temper.

Maybe it was time to stop doing what Jefferson did and start doing what Alice would do. Maybe it was time to try and channel her muchness. Maybe it was time to once again stand up for who he was.

In this world what Jefferson was, wasn’t wrong. What Jefferson was, was not unnatural. No one would take Grace away because he preferred the company of men. Though he suspected a few of them might consider him crazy for having slept with the Dark One, but then, he looked through his telescope at Rumpelstiltskin watching his True Love walking down the street, he wouldn’t be the only one anymore.

The Alice in his head told him that he should tell Grace first. The Alice in his head said that she was old enough, that she would understand and that she deserved to know first.

So for the first time since she died and left him Jefferson listened to Alice and he told Grace.

Alice was right, she did understand. She even pointed out the obvious in regards to the part that had they had never been able to explain, Rumpelstiltskin was magic and so was Jefferson. Magic, could do anything, even unintentionally.

And Grace proved that she’d picked up plenty from Alice despite the lack of blood relation and the fact that she died when Grace was so young. Because Grace refused to let Jefferson hesitate any longer and dragged him down to the Dark One’s shop the next day before he could escape.

“Jefferson,” Rumpelstiltskin looked surprised but pleased, “And this must be the infamous Grace. You are as beautiful as your mother,” He informed the young girl who just let out a laugh that made Jefferson turn red and the Dark One frown in confusion.

“Thank you, I think so too,” Grace replied with a delighted smile.

“How can I help the Hatter family today?” Rumpelstiltskin inquired and Jefferson swallowed.

“I have something to tell you,” He told the man, “Something I… probably should have told you a long time ago,”

“What’s that?” Rumpelstiltskin frowned.

“I…” Jefferson swallowed heavily, “I’m gay,” He didn’t so much cave as chicken out and Rumpelstiltskin stared at him in confusion.

“Jefferson I’m sorry to say that is not news to me,” He informed the man.

“No I mean I’m really gay,” He glanced at Grace who just stared at him, “I’ve never been with a woman, the idea makes me slightly sick,” Rumpelstiltskin’s furrow creased even further as he looked from Jefferson to Grace and back again.

“So Grace is adopted then? Or did you and Alice go to another magic user other than me? I feel cheated Jefferson,” Jefferson knew the Dark One was teasing him, mostly. He was however slightly hurt that, if Jefferson wanted a child and couldn’t get one the traditional way he didn’t come to Rumpelstiltskin, dealer of children. Jefferson fought the urge to let out an insane laugh, now wasn’t the time.

“No Grace is mine,” Jefferson set a hand on Grace’s shoulder and pulled her close, not letting on that it was more to support him than the other way around. He suspected neither Grace nor the Dark One were fooled, they had eyes that saw through everything, “And I know better to go to some half-cocked magic user when I could just ask you,” he swallowed again, “I carried her,”

“Excuse me?” Rumpelstiltskin went very still then.

“I carried her,” Jefferson said squeezing Grace’s shoulder and she lifted her hand and squeezed his hand in return, “She’s not actually related to Alice, except in heart. I don’t know how it was possible, but it was,”

“And you’re telling me because you’ve got a new beau and want to make sure it doesn’t happen again?” Rumpelstiltskin asked his voice more than a little wary, eying Grace with a look of uncertainty and unconcealed hope.

“I’m telling you because I’ve also only ever actually slept with one man. I spent so much time trying to prove the people from my hometown wrong that I just never got round to it,” Jefferson said and swallowed through the lump, “She’s yours,”

Rumpelstiltskin let out a low sound that was part shock, part grief, part something else deeper and more heart-breaking. He staggered and both Jefferson and Grace lunged forward to support him. They got him over to his chair and let him sink down into it.

“How is this possible?” Rumpelstiltskin couldn’t take his eyes off Grace, “It can’t be possible,”

“Believe me it’s possible,” Jefferson grumbled, “I remember every second of the fourteen long, painful hours of childbirth. Trust your daughter to be as contrary as you,” He didn’t mean a word of it (though he had been in labour for fourteen long and painful hours he didn’t really remember it all that clearly, it had faded the minute Alice handed him his Grace)

“Don’t be mean Papa,” Grace chided him and then pulled away, moving to approach Rumpelstiltskin and reaching out to touch him, “Papa was scared that’s why he didn’t tell you. It wasn’t really anything to do with you; he just didn’t want to lose me. But Mom told him off from heaven so he told me and I made sure he told you,”

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me all that much,” Rumpelstiltskin let out a crooked grin, “How is it, do you suppose, that both my children have turned out to be infinitely braver than I?”

“You’re just lucky,” Grace smiled beatifically, “Also now I can make Henry call me Auntie,” She informed him and both Jefferson and Rumpelstiltskin broke into startled laughter. Grace beamed triumphantly.

Alice would be proud, Jefferson thought.


End file.
